If becoming a first time single parent is as terrifying for you as it was for me and you have no idea what is in store you will need to read this post.
1- Whoever is meant to be in your child's life IS.
I spent way too long trying to force relationships that were not meant to be. It makes absolutely no sense to try and force people to be in your child's life. That baby is royalty and who ever can't see it has a problem with their eyes. It is like saying I have a billion dollars on the table for you to have. Now if you do not want to take the money then you are crazy. It is not my job to sit down and try to explain to you why the billion dollars is valuable. Or how the billion dollars would change your life for the better. Just move on take your money and find someone else who is more than happy to spend it. Instead of focusing on who isn't in your child's life be grateful for who is actually present.
2- You will get all the blame for how your child turns out. Use this to your advantage
People will blame you for becoming a single parent. They would blame you if God forbids the child starts to act out. Forget that you are tired all the time and don't have to breathe. If your child decides to act crazy you will get the shaking of the heads. Use this to your advantage. Make sure that you are doing everything in your power to raise someone with integrity. Because when your child becomes a Doctor or teacher or philanthropist you will get all the credit.
3- Using the bathroom alone will feel like a gift from God himself.
This should have been number one and is self explanatory. No, you will not be allowed to use the bathroom alone. For some reason your pint sized boss thinks that you will be taken away for good if you are in the bathroom alone. I say Shower when the baby sleeps.
4- Time seems to speed up so SLOOWWWWW DOWNNNNNN
This seems hard to do because you are constantly someone's chef, doctor, maid, therapist and more. But children grow so fast. The first year seems like it lasted just a day. So whether you have a one day old or a 16 year old. Spend time with your children. Turn off the electronics and get to know them.
You will find yourself saying "He (or she) is growing up so fast" and with time you realize that there will be an end to time. Graduations, empty nesting, even death becomes real so enjoy the little time they're around.
5-It WILL get better/easier
I know it doesn't seem like it since you wake up every other hour. You are constantly tired constantly changing diapers, constantly putting children on time out constantly cleaning. But there will come a time when the baby will be potty trained. The children would clean up after themselves and eventually they won't need you. Of course you are a parent until you die but it is a different kind of relationship so don't fret when they are crazy toddlers, everything will all fall into place.
6- Your child will become your WHY
Now you have someone depending on you. Someone that sees you as their everything. So you know that you have no room to mess up. You have to succeed and do your best. I like to think of single parenting as trying to build a table alone when the instructions recommend 2 people doing it. Yes it might take you longer to do it. Yes you will have to use the wall to support the table. But it can be done. And if that table can talk he would appreciate you so much more.
7-Your spiritual life will be TESTED!
God is all great when things are going good. You know life is going as planned or predicted. You go to church. Graduate college have a job lined up for you. Get married, have a child or two live happily ever after. But what if your plans don't go as followed? I for sure did not plan to be a single parent so what happens when you lose your spouse? What happens when you take all measures to not have a child but it still happens? Are you still grounded in God's word? Is God still good all the time, all the time God is good? For me there was a point in my life where I did not know if God was there or not. But once I got over the hurdles I came to know God in a better way.
"Train up a child in the way that he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it"
-Proverbs 22:6
